Cinder : What would you say is your greatest weakness?

Storm : *thinking* Well I procrastinate everything. I’m a perfectionist to the point where I can’t complete anything. My depressive episodes get in the way of my ambitions and my anxiety causes me to stress over insigifincant problems.

Storm : Um, I guess, I can over think things.

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Waitress : So, what’ll it be?

Holly : I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN!!

Lewis : *head in hands* Eggs…She would like some eggs…

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Benga introducing his friends

Benga : The nice one is Lewis, the idiot is Holly and the constipated-looking one is Eltic.

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Benga : Eltic, get up!

Eltic : I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out.

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Cinder : Why do you and Edan hang out if you hate each other so much?

Scarlette : We don't hate each other.

Cinder : But you're always talking about how much you hate each other.

Scarlette : ... What's your point?

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Lewis : Holly, I did something terrible.

Holly : Don’t worry, I have a shovel.

Lewis : I-wait, what do you think I did?

Holly : It doesn’t matter, Lewis. No one will ever know.

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Benga : Do you like my outfit?

Eltic : Not as much as I like what’s underneath it.

Benga : (chokes and gasps for air) Eltic !

Eltic : No, I need your chair. Get up.

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Scarlette : Edan is my enemy, but it turns out that Edan is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Edan is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So actually, Edan is my enemy. But— 

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Benga : Anybody under 5'7 can't talk about fighting someone. Like, what are you gonna do? Headbutt someone in the nipples?

Eltic : Say goodbye to you kneecaps, asshole. 

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Cinder : [standing outside Edan's bedroom] EDAN, WE HAVE TO GO! COME OUT!

Edan : I'M GAY

Cinder : NOT WHAT I MEANT BUT I STILL SUPPORT YOU

Eltic : My head hurts.

Benga :  That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

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Cinder : you know that feeling when you first meet someone? that excitement? that rush?

Storm : no. when i meet people it’s usually just a great deal of anxiety followed by sweating.

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Cinder : c'mon, guys, what do i bring to the table?

Scarlette : that's easy. you're the cute one.

Cinder : what?

Holly : i'm the hot one, Scarlette's the cool one, and you're the cute one

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Benga : School doesn’t test your intelligence, it tests your memory.

Lewis : It tests my ability to hold my pee.

Eltic : It tests my patience.

Scarlette : It tests my ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch. 

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Storm : Synonyms are-

Scarlette : Words that I can use to tell Edan that they are wrong.

Scarlette : Even when they might be technically correct. 

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Scarlette : Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Cinder : Well I wouldn’t exactly call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

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Holly : I am a good person.

Lewis : You don’t know the meaning of good.

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Scarlette : (Trying to fix a broken radio)

Scarlette : (Hits it and it starts working)

Scarlette : It works! And they say violence doesn’t solve anything.

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Benga : Hi!

Eltic : Shut up.

Benga : Where are your manners?

Eltic : They’re down in the toilet. Along with all of your bullshit.

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Holly : This date is boring.

Lewis : This isn’t a date. I said I was going to the store.

Holly : Then why did you invite me?

Lewis : I specifically said “don’t come with me” and then you said “Fuck you, Lewis, I do whatever I want” and followed me here.

Eltic : *sigh* Why am I not a banana?

Esias : Because your genetic code dictates you are a human. However, it should please you to know that you share fifty to sixty percent of your DNA with a banana.

Eltic : Thanks, Esias.

Benga : Are you telling me some people are ten percent more banana than other people?

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Esias : Why is Eltic on the table?


Benga : He likes to be tall.

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Lewis : (reading Holly's ‘Wanted’ poster) For theft, fraud, posturing, in-posturing, gambling, disturbing the peace and….public nudity?

Holly : In my defense I was tied to a tree and stripped of my clothes, so that one really wasn’t my fault.

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Holly On Christmas, probably

Holly : Lewis help, I’m trapped under the tree and the star’s tangled in my hair.

Lewis : Why were you under the tree?

Holly : … Because I’m a gift to this world? 

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Lewis : How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?

Holly : What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share? 

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[Talking about Stun face]

Eltic : Is that Stun ?

Benga : Yes, it is.

Eltic : Who died on his face?

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Cinder : Simba, I am your father.

Storm : I don't think Mufasa has ever said that

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Lewis : I don’t know about this.

Holly : Oh, trust me. You’ll have fun

Lewis : ‘Trust me. You’ll have fun.’ Was there ever a more suspicious phrase? 

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Holly : You know what? I say screw that guy!

Lewis : Yeah!

Lewis : … You’re a terrible influence.

Holly : You need me. 

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Holly : I will eat your babies, bitch!

Lewis : Nobody’s eating anybody’s babies.

Holly : Come on, let me eat her babies. 

Storm : Quick, to the panic room!!

Cinder : We don't have a panic room

Storm : Any room can be a panic room if you panic enough 

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Sigmund : You know what they say

Sigmund : Where there's smoke, there's a fire

Lewis : And Holly

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Sigmund : Holly ! Clean up your fucking room right now!

Holly : You can’t control me, you’re not my real dad! 

Sigmund : I’m about to slap you like a real dad! 

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Holly : Hey c'mere, I wanna tell you a secret.

Lewis : NO! NOT AGAIN!

Holly : What are you-

Lewis : THE LAST TIME YOU WANTED TO TELL ME A “SECRET,” YOU LICKED MY EAR!

Holly : That was in the past.

Lewis : NOPE. KEEP YOUR SECRET. 

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Benga : Hey, it’s your turn to wash dishes.

Eltic : I’ll wash the walls red with your blood.

Benga : Okay. But before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time.

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 Scarlette : What are you bringing to christmas dinner?

Eltic : My negative attitude and sparkling personality

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Lewis : I hope you know what you’re doing.

Holly : Yeah, me too.

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Lewis : [to Holly] Did you do it?

Holly : Something goes wrong and you blame me. After all these years, where’s the trust?

Lewis : …

Holly : Yes, I did.

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Stun : Ugh I feel old, like I'm not a cool kid anymore.

Isabelle : Aw, Stun that's not true.

Stun : Really?

Isabelle : You were never a cool kid. 

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Scarlette : MAMA DIDN’T RAISE NO LOSER.

Eltic : But she did raise a drama queen.

Scarlette : JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN COOKIE.

Edan : I guess I like hanging around you guys, don't know why.

Cinder : Thank you.

Storm : I'm not sure that was a compliment.

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Edan : You guys are idiots, did you know that?

Cinder : In our own defense, we actually do know that.

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Lewis : Can you please not Holly this into a situation worse than it already is?

Holly : Did you just use my name as a verb?

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Edan : I’ve heard that one in every four friends is gay.

Edan : I hope it’s Storm, because he’s cute.

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Scarlette : Look guys, I need help.

Cinder : Love help?

Storm : Emotional help?

Holly : Help moving a body?

*Everyone looks at Holly.*

Holly : …what?

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Scarlette : Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Edan : ...

Scarlette : Because that would explain why your face looks so fucked-up.

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Edan : did it hurt?

Storm : yes

Edan : you didn’t even wait for the “when you fell from heaven” part

Storm : everything hurts

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Flory : Do you ever have a normal day?

Holly : Yeah. Once. It was Thursday.

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Holly : Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will"

Lewis : I will my parents still loved me 

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Sigmund : Holly, what’s the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?

Holly : Raise the dead.

Sigmund : And what did you do?

Holly : (sounding ashamed) Raise the dead.